By Donna Cole
The following is a speech I prepared in anticipation of being invited to speak at the Wisconsin Democrat Party Convention in Oconomowac this weekend (June 7-8). Sadly, the invitation never came. Probably a clerical error. So, I share my prepared remarks, which I worked very hard on, with you. Note: This speech was written to be delivered in a high energy style. Please read it that way for full effect.
OPENING: (Yelling) GOOD EVENING WIS DEMS! (Pause-Crowd reacts) Yeah! You having fun yet?! (Pause-Crowd cheers)
- How about it for Oconomowoc?! What a town! Yeah! (Pause-Crowd cheers) Give it up for our wonderful hosts here at the Olympia Resort! (Pause-Crowd cheers) What a place, HUH? Yeah! How about that bar?! Best wake up Bloody Mary this side of Madison! (Pause-Crowd cheers) Yeah! (Point out some drunk in crowd) I saw you there this morning Buddy! You are getting your money's worth from those free drink tickets! You must know somebody, I only got three! (Pause-Crowd laughs)
- Did you hit that buffet? WHOA! Who says the Wisconsin Democrat Party is broke? What a spread-HUH? (Pause-Crowd reaction-Point out a fat broad.) Hey sister, how many times you hit it? HA, HA, No, I kid! Really, I kid! You're a Wisconsin beauty! (Crowd laughs) No, Really! (Pause) OK OK, Now, seriously folks. Let's get down to the brass tacks here. (Pause-Allow crowd to settle)
- My Wisconsin brothers and sisters, you folks on the left side of the table. I'm Donna Cole and as a Republican I am honored to be here tonight with all you Democrats. (Pause-Crowd boos) Hey! Nobody's perfect-Right?! Come on?! (Pause-Crowd settles down-Hopefully.)
- Folks, I am here to talk about a serious issue. I am here to talk about your party chairman Mike Tate, (Pause-Crowd cheers) and why-Hey! Settle down back there! I know, you guys love Mike! Yeah! Mike Tate! (Pause-Crowd cheers) And why I support him, and you Democrats should vote for his third term as Chairman of the Wisconsin Democrat Party! (Pause-Crowd cheers)
- I knew Mike before he was the Democrat Party Chairman, back when he was director of something with AFSCME Council 40! (Pause-Crowd cheers) We got any AFSCME folks here tonight?! (Pause-Crowd cheers wildly) And when Mike was with Kathy Falk's first run at governor! Man, they came so close. What a gal, what a sport! Give it up for Kathy ya'll! (Pause-Sporadic claps)
- After Mike became the party chair in 2009 do you remember what was one of the first things he did? (Pause-silence) I do. You know why? Because I live in Oak Creek. (Pause-A couple people make noise) Yeah! I knew there were a few Democrats in Oak Creek! (Pause-Laughter) Back then my state senator was a long serving Democrat, but one of those conservative Democrats who made deals with Republicans, Jeff Plale. (Pause-Crowd boos) That's right!
- Well, Mike got rid of Plale real quick. He ran Chris Larson (Pause-Crowd cheers) against Plale. Mike primaried Plale right out of Madison! Yes Mike did! Now Sticky Fingers Larson is the leader of the Wisconsin Senate Democrats! Mike sent the message to the rest of Wisconsin Democrats that you better get LEFT! (Point left) Or get OUT! (Point right-Pause-Crowd cheers wildly)
- Mike Tate moved the Wisconsin Democrat Party further to left than it has been in years, maybe ever. No more deals with Republicans! No more Mr. Nice Guy! (Pause-Crowd cheers wildly) Calm down folks, calm down, we are just getting started! There is more! Mike has a record! A record to vote for! (Pause-Crowd cheers)
- Then, Scott Walker ran for governor (Pause-Crowd boos). And Mike ran Milwaukee Mayor Tom Barrett against him. Walker beat the pants off Barrett and the Republicans took control of the legislature. (Pause-Crowd boos) Then Walker and his Republican henchmen tried to pass ACT 10! That's right! (Pause-Crowd boos) Walker was trying to put the state on sound fiscal footing! (Pause-Crowd boos) But Mike Tate wasn't having any of it! The Democrat Party belongs to the unions! WE AIN'T TAKING IT! (Pause-Crowd cheers wildly)
- Remember the Madison protests?! (Pause-Crowd cheers) Remember the Senate Democrats high tailing it to Illinois?! (Pause-Crowd cheers louder) REMEMBER THE RECALL?! THAT WAS MIKE! THAT WAS MIKE! (Pause-Crowd cheers wildly)
- Ah yes, remember those heady days in Madison when you guys spent weeks protesting? Mike and you union goons failed to understand how you made fools out of yourselves, and not just to folks in out state Wisconsin either, but to the entire nation! While you guys thought you were doing something heroic, in fact you were national laughing stocks! And the Republicans passed ACT 10, and they balanced the state budget anyway! That's Mike Tate!
- All Mike had to run against Walker in the recall was Mayor Tom again. Obama didn't want to have anything to do with you folks! He flew over the state to avoid you! Walker made Tom a three time loser! Beat him worse the second time than the first and when the dust cleared the Republicans had even more control of the legislature! I don't want to forget the Wisconsin Republicans knocked off Rusty Feingold with Ron Johnson.Yeah, that's right! That's Mike Tate!
- Look at the bench of candidates Mike has recruited to run against Walker or Johnson next time. Chris Larson? Lena Taylor? Old as dirt Red Fred Kessler? Gwen Moore? Two time loser Kathy? Three time loser Tom? Rusty Feingold, who wouldn't touch you losers with a ten foot pole? You guys got nobody! Nobody! Your bench is just as empty as Mike Tate's brain is! (Pause-Crowd mumbles) That's Mike Tate!
- But, I won't leave out the good stuff either. Obama won Wisconsin (Pause-Crowd cheers), and so did Tammy Baldwin (Pause-Crowd cheers). But don't give Mike too much credit here. Obama's people ran that election and he dragged Tammy over the top on his coattails. She could have never won without Obama or only with Mike. (Pause-Crowd mumbles) They won despite Mike, not because of him! That's Mike Tate!
- Friends, I could go on recounting Mike Tate's full tenure as your chairman and telling you why he deserves a third term, but the little blinking light is telling me my time is up. So, I'll finish with this. (Pause for full effect)
- Folks, this is what liberal leadership looks like! This is what Democracy looks like! VOTE MIKE TATE! WISCONSIN DEMOCRAT PARTY CHAIRMAN! (Pause-Crowd of idiots cheer wildly) ERRRRYAAAAA! (Howard Dean yell)
- Lead chant-VOTE MIKE! VOTE MIKE! VOTE MIKE!
- (Exit stage-fist raised.)